Closing The Gap
by Kevin Kevin
Summary: Oneshot. Remus thinks back on his relationship with Sirius. Slash [RLSB. Duh.]


**Disclaimer:** If I owned any of it you wouldn't be seeing it on a fanfiction site, would you?

**Warning:** Mmm. Slash. Yesyes.

A chill shot down Remis Lupin's spine even though he was quite warm sitting on his bed, a blanket draped over his shoulders.  
He was bent over an old, tattered photo album, staring at a bright-eyed Sirius Black.

"Goodness, this had to be back in fifth year. I can't believe how..." He let his thoughts drift off, not willing to bring those memories even closer to the surface. He had been suffering enough as it is, dealing with the lost of his best friend, he didn't need to remember their...extensive history.

But even as he closed the photo album, he knew it was too late. Just the sight of Sirius' beautiful eyes, blinking sweetly up at him, had been enough to take him on one of his frequent trips down memory lane.

---

"Moony! Mooonnyyyyy! Wake up, mate!" A cheery voice called, only vaugely recognizable through the haze of sleep refusing to relinquish Remus Lupin from its grasp.

He could feel himself being shaken, a set of strong hands grasping his shoulders. Still he refused to get up, unwilling to let go of the cozy blanket keeping him nice and warm. He rolled over in his state of half-sleep, hoping the other boy would leave him alone, but it was a no-go.

"Padfoot, please!" He called out groggily, squinting at the boy standing over him, "Just...let me sleep in." He pleaded, trying to pull the covers over his head.

The other boy, Sirius Black, let out a barkish laugh.  
"In your dreams, Moony." He said with a smile, leaning over the boy with a sly grin. He reached towards the other, quickly pulled the blanket back, and began to tickle Remus like a madman.

"Padfoo- Siri- Stop! Stopstopstop STOP!" He cried, grabbing one of the other boy's arm and attemping to divert it from its tickling. The attempt failed, as he just ended up tugging oddly and causing Sirius to fall on top of him, their faces separated by a just a few milimetres of empty space. Remus was suddenly aware that his breathing had sped up just a tad, and his heart felt as if it was lodged within his throat. He was suddenly wide awake, unable to think of anything other than the boy that was currently residing on top of him. He wanted Sirius off of him, but at the same time wanted nothing more than to...to close the small space separating them.  
"You're a loon!" A voice from within Remus' head called out to him, "It's Sirius! He's your best mate! Come off it, whacko!"

Remus could feel his face grow hot. He was still coming to grips with the realization that he fancied boys. It wasn't until Sirius rolled off of him so that they were lying side-by-side on Remus' cramped bed that he realized he had been holding his breath. He exhaled, rubbing his eyes and wishing Sirius would move. But, of course, he didn't get his wish.

"Quite the bed you've got here, mate!" Sirius said in a chipper tone, stretching out beside Remus, "I see why you didn't want to get up."

"Yeah, well, I'm up now. Come on, then, let's go." Remus said, raising himself up. He jumped when he felt a finger touch his side, which was visble due to the rather large tear in his pajama shirt. Sirius looked up at him with worry, and Remus realized he was tracing over the line of a rather horrid scar he had.

"I-I'm sorry." Sirius said quickly, withdrawing his finger when he saw the look on Remus's face. "I've never...I've never seen your scars before."  
"Then you should think yourself lucky, Padfoot." Remus said somberly, his face rather cold.  
"Moony, I...I'm your best friend. I mean, I know you're still uncomfortable about me seeing your scars, but come on. I'm an illegal animagus. Why? So that I can keep you compa-" But at this Remus cut him off,  
"You know that's a bloody lie. I know damn well that you'd've become an animagus anyway, just for the thrill of being able to run around and cause trouble without anyone being able to prove it was y-" But this time it was Sirus who interrupted.

"Remus," And at this Remus' eyes widened. Sirius hardly ever called him by his first name. "Mate, I did it for you. I wanted to be with you when you needed it. I mean, think about it, until Padfoot and I, and wormtail I suppose, came alone...you really didn't expect to ever feel friendship. You weren't expecting to have people around that enjoyed you for all of who you are, friends willing to do anything to make you feel safe. I did it because I love you, and I wanted to make sure you always felt every bit the wonderful boy that you are." But, as the words issued from his mouth, Sirius became aware of what he was saying. His eyes widened and his face lost its color quickly, then gained far too much color back.

"Sirius...Did you just...I...I love you, Sirius." Remus finished lamely, looking at a point just past Sirius' left shoulder rather than directly at the other boy. Sirius, suddenly equally shy, just smiled sheepishly.  
"Can I...?" He trailed off, reaching towards Remus' shirt. Remus nodded, and Sirius commenced to unbutton the shirt, knowing Remus was looking away, knowing Remus was expecting a foul reaction.  
But he didn't get one.

Sirius removed the shirt carefully, his fingertips eager to feel Remus. He reached out, tracing the scars carefully, and he leaned in closer.  
"I love you. For everything you are. Every scar, every freckle, everything. I love you, Remus." He whispered, leaning toward the other so that only a few milimetres remained between them.

"I love you, too." Remus replied simply, closing the gap and pressing their lips together, Sirius' fingertips still tracing the scars.

---

Remus Lupin was gazing at the tattered cover of a photo album. The only thing he could feel was a rather intense pain where his heart belongs.  
It was then that he realized it was over. His lover, his best mate, his Padfoot. He was really gone, and even if the memories were good ones, the pain of knowing he would never again feel the kind of bond he and Sirius shared was terrifying.

"I love you, Padfoot." He whispered to the photo album, placing it on a bed-side table, putting out the light and pulling the blanket more securely over him as a breeze entered through the open window.  
And, as he turned to sleep, he could have sworn that he heard Sirius' voice saying 'I love you too.'


End file.
